My Boyfriend (spoken intro)

from by Crime and the Forces of Evil

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about

I swear to you this is how I heard this story.

We thought about leaving this track out because we love the flow from "Shout of the Desert" into "My Boyfriend," but the consensus from review-copy listeners was that while that particular musical flow is better, they kept listening to this track each time, because they thought it stayed funny, so we decided to leave it in.

lyrics

So how many of you know what Sailor Moon is? Okay! So! Huge show if you were a girl in the 90s, told the story of the sailor senshii, superhero incarnations of the planets, defending the solar system against threats both extrasolar and extradimensional. A US company bought the rights to the first two series, dubbed 'em, aired them in North America, and it's a huge hit. So they want more of that, buy the next two series sight unseen and immediately realise they have a problem, or more correctly, two problems.

FIRST: one of the villains is gay. It's not subtext; it's a plot point. But being drawn in the fine tradition of bishonen, he's pretty. VERY pretty. So they look at him and think, "you know... with some edits... and recasting... and new dialogue... we could make him... a her." And they do. I understand it still airs this way, in English, but I don't care, I watch Japanese.

But then they have a SECOND problem. We meet three new sailor senshii: Sailors Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto. Uranus and Neptune, both women, are a couple. It's not subtext. And it's time to play everybody's favourite game: LET'S HIDE THE LESBIANS! They look at Sailor Neptune... and go oh god, and so they look at Sailor Uranus and think, "Weeellll... she's pretty butch... she's a race car driver in real life... and she's got short hair and wears pants all the time... maybe we could make her... a him." I'm told that this actually made it out into the wild before - and I PRAY this is true - someone rang them up them going, "youuuuuu IDIOTS. Do you not know - because your audience certainly knows - that those uniforms they transform into to fight crime in are GIRL'S SCHOOL UNIFORMS and YOU have just invented the WORLD'S FIRST TRANSVESTITE SUPERHERO?"

This is about THAT Sailor Uranus, sung by THAT Sailor Neptune, and it's called, "My Boyfriend."

credits

from Dick Tracy Must Die, released March 3, 2011

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Crime and the Forces of Evil Seattle

We are one bunch of seriously pissed-off elves, writing the songs of the supervillains. Enjoy our rage-driven acoustic elfmetal, or our GeoIP-driven heat ray. It's up to you.

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